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why men rape women? How to stop it- discussed by a woman- worth to read

why men rape women? How to stop it- discussed by a woman- worth to read

Hi,
We all are concern about unstable life in present society.In India socialists are worried about birth rate of male & female child.Female children birthrate has dropped down at its worst.at the same time
Boy and girl  upbringing discrepancies, physical, mental, social rape on female disturbs any thinking personI know each and every one and we as a whole trying to solve these problems
Society means..? You and Me and Every one…..
If we are making efforts to get rid of problems like rape then why we are not getting expected success?
Still why every day we get news of violence against woman?...
Let me talk on this subject,
with the base of my twenty years experience. Where I mate thousands of peopleI got chance to touch their problem & lives.I came on  to a firm conclusionthat we are far away from the root cause of this problemI was fortunate to understand reasons behind this problem.
Please allow me to share my thoughts with you.I would like to title my subject as The Gender bias Upbringing of our childrenWe have to re-structure our ‘child upbringing’ ideas.
Once we start to think on  The Gender bias UpbringingsImmediately we think of discrepancies with girls, vividly this is true …Education of boys is kept at top priority than girls.. since he has to feed family in future…Girl is trained to be a house wife, she is not allowed to roam outside
Because we believe girls are not protected out side.
We feed solid food to boys than girls,
With lame reason  to keep them slim. Every one strongly believes that girls are victims of ‘upbringing discrepancies’. But surprisingly did you know that Boys are ‘real’ victims of ‘upbringing discrepancies’.Many of us did not know this fact, but its true…
Now we will try to reveal this Truth.Discrepancies in childhood with boys leads them to cruelty in future…
Soul is genderless.
But society declares its gender according to the body.Problem starts at this point…Toys are also selected accordingly.Girls are gifted with baby dolls, or soft toys.Girls literally starts taking care of doll,to feed, to sleep a doll is major activity.
)While playing, she acts as teacher to care others..She acts as a Doctor or Nurse also, to cure others.
Her toys mould her personalitywith more grace,more soft, more cute, more loveable…
 better human being.Then we believe a girl should be like ‘this’ only
Now lets focus on boys world.
 We allow a boy to play with car, Gun, or a Super Hero.This make deep impact on boys psychological structure.)Gun type toys makes him fighter, bold, and merciless.He plays Police-criminal type game 
Means boys mentality is crafted in ‘this’ way.
And we call this as you are a MAN
You should be like this Gender concept is created by Us, as boy and girl.We create these two character and start to mold them accordingly.Don’t you think that we are crafting our girl child as more feminine?Girl or boy is an innocent creature.
They are attached with  mom.Both enjoys to be around mother.they wishes to help mom, they enjoys to cry also  if it is girl, we accept it but we never accept it for a boy.Child never knows about his gender…

But he realizes it according to upbringing A girl is allowed to be feminine but We do not allow boys to develop feminine qualities Roaming around Mom by boy is not accepted.
He is not allowed to cry He is not allowed to be emotional.He is not allowed to help Mom because it is told as female job he is told that being male he is different…then child gets dazzled
he gets confused about his sisters interrelation with Mom
 It revolves in his mind..
The male identity is imposed on his mind deliberately.Here discrimination starts…Boy is trained to be suppressed his emotions, expressions of emotions is not allowed.It converts him into less sensitive person. Then he loses feeling about parents.He does not allowed to involve in domestic activities
Then he gets separated from home emotionally Now re-think about our inter reaction with girl that she is a perfect woman.She is expert on caring, curing, respecting, welcoming, But every work as a human is closed for boy because we skip it out from training Even when he tried to learn these things WE stopped him.  MAN identity is super imposed on his mind.
And systematically we kill a human in his mind.
When boy is denied to help at home He thinks I may go to Mom for emotional support and everyone will laugh at me.Then he keeps himself out of home.Out of home-Time pass-activities increases and falls into wrong activities. To suppress emotions he finds out love in out side friends.
He may find addiction of drugs. He gets miles away from home. At another side, girls, asked to be t home, due to insecurity outside.Thus we make girls responsible.Even clothing habits have discrepancies.Girls are asked to be decent and conscious about social norms including use of language and laughing expressions.Unfortunately we never made our boys conscious about clothing norms,
Cloths are meant for society.Yes, everyone is independent to choose kind of clothes but
We have to follow natural social norms…Which is for girls as well as boys…If girls are expected to do so, then boys also expected to do so.This is natural….But we skip out something…
When we try to cover female; male gets curious about it.Then curiosity about female body parts makes male crazy.
Girls are trained to be in limits so they are in limits When we fail to keep boys in limits… they turn as nightmare of society.Boys then try to escape from discrepancies did with him Many times small kids gets raped…why..have you thought about it?

We try to find out reasons behind 3 years kids rape..
Here cloth must not be a season …then why we think girls should wear particular cloths,
otherwise they may get raped…Many times male wear only towel or lungi under the belly exposing upper body…around their houses Even in front of guests or any ladies they do not try to cover their body, if they come out after shower. Ironically why those males are not getting raped? Why only the female? Don’t you think, women are not getting aggressive, but men are… because they are not taught to do so.
We made our girls, but fail for boys.
We have taught girls to, How to look at human body, but not boys.THIS is discrimination.  An innocent child is made MALE by us.When boy fail to be responsible citizen, it is actual failure of our upbringing ideas. A boy must ask his parents about this discrimination.
For improper training about life, in compare, with girls.
Why he was misguided about expressing feelings.Now why it is expected good from him?
I feel we all are responsible for this mess.  We take woman as a goddess… and men as.. nothing…
To care parents, girl rush from In-Laws.. even with single call…

But boy didn’t ask anything even if he is present there.Why?
Why did it happen?
Why our child is not feeling anything about us?
Did you know, it is your mistake.
In childhood you didn’t taught him, how to take care?
You imposed the idea of being male, not to express love n emotions..Not to cry …
Being loving and caring person is not your job it’s all for girls…You keep yourself out and earn money.Then when he is not caring about parents we declare boy is a culprit..Is it right? What do you think?I believe you are wrong. You are getting punished by nature for your mistakes.
 
You have created situation to set yourself for Old Age Home Son is not at fault, its you.
Since Daughter is trained she takes care of everyone.She can weep with Mom, she can share small small things with Mom.Is it so with Son?
A poor chap has to tighten up his lips, with stony heart. Then he keeps himself away from everything.This leads many problems.Many times we fail to understand our son.We nurtured such a male which has poisonous mind..We have offered more emotional freedom to daughter than son…
I have handled female abuse cases in which they express their feelings.
They explain what did happen with them…But sorry to say, we didn’t allow this to boys.
That’s the reason boy child rape is not discussed.Even after growing up he holds it in his mind.
I got a chance to meet a rapist who raped 3 years girl.He told me that he got seduced by his family member for many times.Still he was unable to share this with any one…
His personality was shattered from inside…I think this kind of rapist are taking vengeance against everyone.

Is it impossible to make our son sensitive for family and society?
Or even to express his thoughts?
Why a male cannot declare himself as an emotional person?  
Why he pretend himself as a brave person?
Why should he kill his emotions under the feeling of being male?
We get attracted towards things which are denied.We keep priority to daughter to take care of everyone & feed everyone..Then to have formal education.Where we ask son to get education to do job and earn for his family.Then we get result in reverse way. girls used to finish homely work fast & gets focused on education.Where hammering on boy regarding education keeps him away from scoring better in education He gets detached from idea to learn..At large scale boys can not study well.Where look at modern education system, girls are ahead to boys.The reason is daughters were asked to keep education at second priority.
Please allow me to put some facts regarding girls roti making training
She takes small piece of doe makes it round,Presses it on platform in round shape with a bar.
Dips it in flour, keeps on hot plate…. Takes it down, confirm its backing..She repeats this procedure again and again with speed.…with another recipe on side stove, if door bell rings, she runs to open door.…she receives a phone call also.Yes, this is multi tasking. this is a reason why woman can get success at job after education,She handles family after marriage.She takes care of every family member.Including education of children.She handles job She handles social relationship also.
And we fail at boys training.We trained girls for every odd in life but not boys.Why this discrimination with boys?I didn’t mean exactly to teach roti making to boys
 But give parallel responsibilities to boys.
As we ask girl to take  care of siblings we can ask it to Boys also &Caring nature can be developed within boys.We have to ask boys to purchase small things prepare for monthly budget, welcoming guests,We have to take his concern also in making home.
This should start from his childhood.Then he will get involved with home.Here after grownups… he will be responsible for home just like girls.Its very simple, isn’t it.Involve your son in routine domestic work.Make him feel responsible.Then he will be attached with family, as girls did.
Boys must get training what girls get.
Please don’t pamper his ego as Male.False ego has shattered boys.That’s the reason girls are getting ahead of boys in education.At work place also girls are doing job with commitment Because female even if she is not well will prepare food for family. That is her commitment towards family.
Whereas Male..if he feels drowsy he will not attend office.He will declare leave.Kids do have commitment but later on Training makes huge difference.
Boys must get training of commitment towards work I feel now a day’s girls are getting ahead in every field.Girls who perform brilliantly also handles job situation with Maximum energy.
Girls handle family and job with ease….
She wants to prove herself every time, and she makes it.Now Males get frustration…because everywhere girls are Marching ahead…. Then how to prove I am MALE.
He wants to prove his masculinity. Meanwhile childhood abuse disturbs him, if any….
Then he get desperate to show females are under me..Now to prove male power, he rapes…
Girl is taught that in childhood she is dependent on a male called Papa, in young age…on brother,
after marriage she is under protection of Husband in old age Son will support her…
in short we tell girls, you are nobody, all these male are your bodyguard.
Then girl never tries to know her abilities.
She takes herself as weak person, in difficulties she expects a
Male furor to save her…Boys have told they are Male, they are brave, they are powerful He then thinks himself as person with masculine macho power. When he finds behind the girls his ego gets hurt. Then he wants to prove his masculinity by teasing girls, by insulting Girl his ego satisfies.
Its easy to show power on weak.
Female also accepted, they are weak comparing to male…This is why she gets raped And male rapes her…Girls have not kept any field to prove a boy that he is a male Then his masculine feeling disturbs him from inside and results into rape This is increasing in society…A society as a whole is responsible for it.Then what is a solution?... perhaps we all know the solution but we have forgotten few things…We have given best training to girls from childhood…
Like this we must give training to our boys also.Give every possible freedom to your boys also.
Ask him to express himself…Offer him a chance to get involved with domestic routine…
Then only this boy will be responsible citizen of India.Come let us pledge for this change..
 I wish to share something more…. Once upon a time there was a kingdom has
Weirdness about one rule that if any one wants to be a king has to stay at a rocky island after completing his 10 years tenure.

Many kings followed the rule, and died fast.
But a very wise person tackled this situation smartly..He became a king and used his powers to re built the island, he Converted this place into most beautiful place on this earth.
People find it as a picnic spot..By the time when this king finished his 10 years tenure the island converted into Beautiful place.Lets make every person, every home beautiful.
We must stop discrepancies in upbringing of our children.
To create a healthy world. if a female loses her husband she feeds her family by any means,
Where society also believes in her…
But if a male lost his wife, finds himself weak, and society also believes so…
Then he is going for another marriage..
This proves that we believe strongly that female is more powerful than male, if calamities fall she proves herself…because we have made girls, self dependent but not boys…
I humbly request everyone, to send your views
To create better society we must discuss on various subjects,
Please suggest subjects if you feel to discuss.
Thanks a lot.. Dr. Joshi (9723106181) at Jawaharlal Nehru University 2005. 



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